Desi Today Magazine
By Amrita Lit
I’ve never been the envious type. Not only that, but I’ve never really paid attention or realized when someone was being envious of me either. I just don’t find it necessary to pine for the life of another when you can just make some simple changes to improve the status of your own.
But with age, comes wisdom. And unfortunately, sometimes this wisdom comes in the form of realizing one too many downfalls of societal norms. Ever scroll through the comments section on a public post on social media? You’re sure to see at least a hefty chunk of negative remarks left by people who seem to have a hint of jealousy lurking through the words they so bitterly tapped onto their phone screens.
What’s even more unfortunate is that it’s usually women leaving these comments on OTHER women’s pages. Girls who are showcasing their fitness prowess, makeup application skills, or maybe even journal bloggers just like me. They all get teared to shreds just because somebody felt the need to leave some nonsensical comment under one of their photos or blurb of words. So what causes this girl on girl mis-action to occur? Is it that we’re all just miserable in our own ways? Do we lack the capability to feel pride or happiness for another? Or do we just get a plain ol’ kick out of knocking others down?
Now it doesn’t even have to be solely on social media. This crap happens every which way you look. Just the other day I was waiting outside of my yoga studio and the girl in front of me looked a rather petite and toned girl up and down as she was leaving and said, “What is she even working out for?”
Now even though she didn’t mean for anyone to hear, I am pretty sure the girl did hear and I don’t think it made her feel very nice that this complete stranger made her feel like having a nice body was somehow a bad thing. Like she wasn’t worthy of having a place in the studio because she was one of the lucky “skinny ones.” Who was the girl in front of me to make that call anyway?
Whether you notice it or not, jealousy seeps into multiple scenarios and conversations. It can be the leading thought force of many women’s minds, and that’s just not a healthy way to be.
Whatever the situation may be – I think the true place to look when you find yourself being a “hater” one too many times –is within yourself. If you constantly feel the need to critique, criticize, and tear down – you’re most likely projecting your own shortcomings onto someone whose quite frankly, just doing better than you are. You might not realize it but you my friend, with your snide remarks toward another woman and petty eye rolls are a walking talking example of girl on girl jealousy.
Now I’m fairly lucky, I don’t receive a whole lot of hate – in person or on the interwebs. Sure I get the odd strange comment or piece of not so friendly advice from particular people in my own inner circle when I do something different – be it post a controversial blog or style my hair differently, but that’s just human nature. I also have found it to be quite a character building experience to be able to handle people’s off-hand comments and let it roll off my shoulders because I’ve learned the opinion of petty people just doesn’t matter.
To comment on those you feel threatened by or somehow reminded that you’re lacking in a certain manner, is just a defence mechanism of protecting one’s own self-esteem.
On the flip side, I can’t say that I hand out compliments too easily either. But at least I don’t go out of my way to point out others insecurities just to make it be known that I noticed them. Everyone is aware of what they could improve on and what they are doing damn well at. There’s no need to spew negativity out in the world because low and behold, it’ll come right back at ya when you least expect it.
