Indian Jokes: Short Stories That Will Make You Smile

The Always Cunning Mr. Singh

A wealthy Singh from India travels all around the world on business. He is now in Canada and walks into a Canadian bank and asks for the loan officer. He says he’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Mr. Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which costs quarter of a million dollars.

“The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,” says Mr. Singh, “and I have all the necessary papers.” The bank officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. After Mr Singh leaves, the loan officer, the bank’s president and all their colleagues enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a $250,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a $5,000 loan. One of the employees drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, Mr Singh returns, repays the $5000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Sir, I must tell you, we’re all a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and discovered that you’re a multimillionaire. Why would you bother to borrow $5,000?” The man replies, “Where else in Canada can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41?”

Bibi and Baba’s Happy Marriage

There was once an old Babaji and Bibiji man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They kept no secrets from each other except that the Bibi had a shoebox in the top of her closet that she cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the Bibi got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the Baba took down the shoebox and took it to his wife’s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents. When we were to be married, she said, “my Naniji told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily.”

The Baba was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.

He almost burst with happiness. “My sweet wife.” he said and looked at her with love and fulfilment. He looked again and the box and said “My sweet wife, that explains the doilies, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?” “Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the doilies.

An Indian’s Speeding Ticket

An Indian was driving well over speed limit and was pulled over by a patrol car. The officer approached the driver’s door.

“Is there a problem, officer?”
“You were speeding. Can I see your license please?”
“I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”
“You don’t have one?”
“I lost it four times for drunk driving.”
“I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?”
“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“I stole this car.”
“Stole it?”  The Indian says, “Yes, and I killed the owner.”

At this point the officer is getting stressed. “You what?”
“The body is in the trunk. You can look if you want.”
The officer slowly backs away and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approached the car, clasping his half drawn gun.  The senior officer said, “Could you step out of your vehicle please!”  The Indian stepped out of the vehicle. “Is there a problem, officer?”  The officer responded, “Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car please?”  The Indian opened the trunk, which was empty.  The officer said, “Is this your car sir?”  The Indian said, “Yes,” and handed over the registration papers.  The officer, understandably, is quite stunned.  “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.”  The Indian handed a license to the officer.  The officer examined the license. He looked quite puzzled. “Thank you. One of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, stole this car, and murdered the owner.”  The Indian replied, “I bet you that liar told you I was speeding, too!